[0.0s] previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[60.0s] Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons, I'm your dungeon master Russ More, he, him, also with me today is Amy More.
[88.6s] It is she, her, and it's my birthday on the day of this record. I don't know when you're listening to it, but retroactively think, hey, it was Amy's birthday on that day.
[99.9s] Three months ago as it was released.
[101.5s] Perfect.
[102.6s] Yeah.
[103.9s] And Carla Max did.
[105.4s] She, her playing lip-synchy pip diggins. I mean, why not just three months in the future think like happy year and a quarter birthday to Amy?
[117.8s] Because she's great. And she could use your positive vibes today. Probably.
[123.4s] Yeah. Also, I'm, I'm in, I'm embodying Sia and Nyantor.
[129.5s] Characters.
[130.4s] I didn't.
[131.4s] It's all right. Tom Laird.
[132.5s] Yep. Here. It's Amy's birthday. Happy birthday, Amy. And I'm playing Flint Firebeard.
[139.1s] And joining us again today, it's Kyle Clasett.
[141.9s] Hey everyone, he, him, happy birthday, Amy. And I am going to be playing Vorunax.
[148.1s] Excited to be back, of course, as always.
[150.4s] And today we're doing, you know, something very different. It's called a planning episode. We'll get to that in a minute.
[156.8s] But where we especially don't do planning is over on Patreon, Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast, where that's a lie too.
[163.2s] We plan things and release them on a schedule so you know when they're coming.
[167.4s] But it sounds more fun when we're just off the cuff and something appeared today. It's great. It's fun. It's mysterious.
[174.9s] But when you are a patron, you get an episode dedicated to you, like today's patron, Cesserus.
[185.4s] Join us today at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast for all of the planning that we do over there.
[191.0s] And now, fuck it, let's play.
[193.4s] Or plan.
[195.0s] Or plan, yeah.
[196.0s] How do we plan? First question.
[199.6s] Oh, great question.
[201.2s] We have not done this before.
[204.2s] On our strong suit.
[205.4s] Not successfully.
[206.6s] I mean, I remember thinking of plans and then not implementing them at all.
[210.8s] So I was planning to plan.
[213.0s] I think it counts.
[214.2s] Yeah, totally counts.
[215.8s] I love canceling plans. Is that something?
[218.4s] Me too.
[220.8s] Let's not go to the abyss.
[222.8s] What happens when you get five millennials in a Google meet?
[230.0s] Nothing they've likely canceled already.
[235.2s] All right, let's set the scene a couple different ways.
[241.4s] One as characters.
[244.6s] The Night Hunter, Lipsinki, Flint, Vorunax, Grancis and Donnie
[248.6s] are all characters that are in this potential scene that we're seeing kind of two different layers of for ourselves.
[256.8s] There's the characters in World in an inn in Greenest around a table with a big map sprawled out.
[267.2s] Vorunax drawing big lines and X's and skulls.
[274.4s] Dash marks.
[275.8s] Yeah, looks like a football playbook.
[278.2s] Yeah, exactly.
[279.4s] Here be monsters.
[281.0s] And that's just the whole thing.
[282.8s] There be monsters.
[284.4s] Everywhere be monsters.
[285.6s] Especially there.
[287.0s] And as we zoom in on these super obscure details that we don't know yet, we zoom back out to us, the players playing the characters.
[297.2s] Look at this meta play.
[299.4s] Now we're just five friends sitting talking about what's on that map.
[303.6s] Yeah.
[304.4s] Because Russ doesn't know what's on that map.
[306.6s] So we're going to world build this abyss together and then Russ is going to take all these great ideas that we come up with and make them more dangerous.
[315.6s] And use them to kill us.
[317.0s] Because there's going to be bunnies.
[319.4s] No, don't make anything.
[320.6s] It's just like Ghostbusters.
[322.2s] Don't picture something fun and cute.
[324.4s] It just will be bad.
[325.8s] That's true.
[326.6s] So we'll start off.
[328.4s] The goal is the bringing down of Orcus and the abyss.
[337.2s] The layer of the abyss.
[338.8s] Kyle, you might have this more quickly than I do.
[343.4s] I can't remember where Orcus lives.
[347.0s] In Orcusville.
[347.9s] Orcus Town, I believe it is.
[349.4s] Oh, man.
[351.0s] That's water deep.
[352.6s] Literally trying to look it all up right now.
[355.1s] Orcus, layer, abyss.
[360.3s] Like which layer of the abyss?
[361.9s] Thanatos.
[362.9s] Thanatos, the 113th layer of the abyss.
[366.7s] How many layers of the abyss are there?
[369.0s] 114.
[370.4s] Oh, so he...
[371.2s] Wow, okay.
[372.0s] Why doesn't he live in the 114th?
[374.6s] Well, it gets more cool the farther down you go.
[379.2s] So he's the second coolest person?
[381.4s] He's the second coolest.
[383.2s] Or being who is the coolest?
[385.0s] Demogorgon, who is technically cooler than Orcus.
[388.0s] Oh, the Stranger Things guy.
[389.2s] All right.
[389.8s] Yeah.
[391.0s] In a sense, yeah.
[393.0s] It's exactly like that.
[394.2s] Exactly like that.
[395.2s] If that's what you want to picture, that's what you see.
[398.8s] So to give a description of what Thanatos is.
[403.3s] Thanatos, not to be confused with Thanos.
[410.0s] Yeah, it's very similar.
[411.4s] Thanos toast.
[414.8s] Delicious breakfast to start the day.
[417.2s] I typed Thanos into the D&D Beyond searcher.
[420.6s] They're like, wrong IP.
[422.4s] Get out of here, nerd.
[424.6s] Yeah, wizards.
[425.5s] Wizards officially now is like this guy.
[428.2s] So Thanatos, this lair was a land of ruin and death
[432.6s] with sterile heaths, black forests, and desolate mountains
[436.7s] filled with ruins and scattered tombs
[439.6s] inhabited by a variety of undead.
[444.2s] The Demon Lord Orcus, Prince of the Undead,
[447.5s] ruled Thanatos.
[449.2s] Jeez, just a prince?
[450.8s] That's why he's striving for more.
[453.2s] In our story, he makes leaps and bounds really quickly.
[457.8s] He's maintained a second lair in a fortress city of Naratir,
[463.1s] the City of the Undead.
[465.5s] Quiet, cold, and mostly empty city.
[468.1s] City of the Dead is what I meant to say.
[470.4s] But you figure it would be City of the Undead because.
[473.4s] Yeah.
[474.0s] And what's that called again?
[476.0s] Naratir, N-A-R-A-T-Y-R, Naratir, Naratir.
[481.1s] Of course, there was a mystery why in there.
[484.2s] That is surrounded by an icy moat fed by the river Styx.
[488.4s] The city used to be.
[490.5s] Yep.
[491.7s] Just like the band.
[493.3s] Not like the Greek fable or anything like that.
[497.7s] No, just the band.
[499.8s] It's all based off of the band.
[502.6s] The Greek story came later.
[505.0s] And here's a great descriptor.
[506.9s] The inner walls of the central castle of Bone
[511.4s] were made of flesh and decorated
[514.2s] with carpets made of hair.
[517.3s] What kind of hair?
[517.9s] So, Merkin City.
[518.7s] Like, back here?
[519.3s] We'll find out.
[520.0s] It's Merkin City.
[520.9s] It's just pubes.
[522.2s] Perfect.
[522.7s] He hires a lot of Merkin areas.
[524.0s] What can we say?
[524.8s] Yep.
[526.3s] Sounds like a sully job.
[530.3s] Let's take a moment here because who has the information
[533.9s] as far as the abyss in World is Vorunax and Lipsinki
[540.3s] from a future standpoint?
[542.4s] Things might be different in the past,
[544.2s] but more or less the same.
[546.0s] Yeah.
[546.6s] And Grancis has more of the other side sort of perspective.
[551.0s] Yeah.
[551.6s] The prison.
[552.2s] The not free to roam around side.
[554.4s] And I guess Lipsinki has both of those.
[556.6s] Yes.
[557.1s] True.
[558.6s] So what's your plan of attack?
[561.0s] Well, I say we just go in guns and blaze.
[563.2s] Right?
[564.0s] Go on down Main Street and challenge them to a fight.
[566.5s] Oh, hey.
[567.3s] Man, I went downtown killing the workers.
[570.9s] Plan A, guns ablazing.
[574.0s] OK.
[574.5s] Well, you've got to have some extreme plan, right?
[577.0s] You need somewhere to be like, Amy, that's ridiculous.
[579.6s] And then we can take three steps removed from that
[582.0s] and work out a real plan.
[583.6s] Exactly.
[584.8s] Although, birthday plan, we might just
[587.0s] have to go with it, guys.
[588.1s] Maybe.
[589.1s] It is my special day.
[591.0s] What was going to be a several episode arc
[592.9s] is now just going to be one and it's just a walk in.
[595.4s] We all die.
[596.5s] Pew, pew.
[598.1s] And they're gone.
[598.9s] Oh, I could die for a lot longer than 12 minutes.
[601.9s] Yeah, absolutely.
[602.7s] Also, there's a lot of characters in the scene,
[605.1s] so it would take quite a while for us all to die.
[607.9s] Yeah.
[608.4s] So how do we picture getting there?
[610.4s] Well, Varnocks would definitely
[612.1s] bring up the fact that dead beasts periodically
[615.2s] animate as undead mockeries of their former selves.
[618.2s] So pretty much just be careful everywhere.
[621.8s] And if we could mask ourselves as undead.
[626.6s] Ooh, could I turn myself into an undead something?
[631.6s] I don't think you can because of your distinct hatred
[634.0s] for undead.
[635.5s] Yeah.
[637.1s] Because druids like life.
[638.6s] That is true.
[639.5s] We do like life.
[642.0s] Yeah.
[643.1s] Not that I want to nix that idea, but I do.
[646.8s] There is the-
[647.4s] There's no bad ideas.
[648.4s] There's no bad ideas.
[649.6s] Yeah, absolutely.
[650.4s] So druid, wild shape into undead.
[653.2s] But also, walking dead, just cover yourself in goo.
[657.6s] In goo.
[658.1s] Or in goo.
[658.6s] Yeah.
[659.1s] Yeah.
[660.6s] Could gooify ourselves.
[661.9s] So there's two different places.
[663.9s] There's Thanatos, and then there's
[666.1s] the city of the dead, the second lair,
[668.1s] which it looks like there's a direct run down
[671.2s] the river Styx.
[672.8s] Any interest in going down the river Styx?
[675.2s] Ooh, we could do a white water rafting situation.
[678.2s] Ooh, fun.
[679.4s] Could be a good skills challenge.
[682.7s] Yeah.
[684.0s] I'd want some tour guides.
[686.6s] I think we need to bring back two japes and-
[692.8s] Japes and flanks.
[693.8s] Flanks?
[694.4s] That's right.
[694.9s] Are they dead?
[695.5s] I didn't think so.
[696.4s] No, I don't think so.
[697.6s] They're fine.
[698.0s] They're in the background of the scene right now.
[700.4s] Yeah.
[701.1s] Always present, but never there.
[703.3s] Yeah, perfect.
[703.9s] So first step, we got to commandeer Karen's boat.
[709.6s] And that's what we use.
[711.5s] So first thing, defeating the ferryman of the dead.
[715.0s] Right.
[715.5s] Defeat or persuade.
[716.6s] Or persuade.
[717.7s] Because I do think that he requires payments.
[720.2s] That's what, yeah, two coins on the eyes.
[722.2s] And is unjudgmental as to, like, all he does
[725.8s] is take people on the boat.
[728.0s] That's true.
[729.0s] And if we look like we're dead, even more of a reason.
[733.0s] Right?
[733.6s] Sharon's not going to be like,
[735.2s] I don't know about these dead guys.
[737.1s] No, they're just dead guys.
[738.2s] Let's go.
[739.8s] Now, I know you didn't say this, but I heard
[743.1s] you call it Karen's boat.
[745.2s] Yeah.
[746.4s] Because I imagine, I like to imagine that Karen
[749.4s] is very, very upset.
[752.0s] She's got a short bob.
[753.4s] She wants to speak with the manager.
[756.5s] OK.
[757.3s] I've heard it announced both ways.
[759.6s] I don't know.
[760.2s] I've never really stepped one way.
[762.4s] Yeah, no, I just pictured, of course, the meme.
[765.4s] I was like, Karen's boat.
[767.5s] Interesting.
[768.1s] OK.
[768.8s] She'd like to speak to our manager.
[770.3s] Who said you could be on this boat?
[772.3s] It's like, well, it's your boat.
[773.3s] You're the manager.
[774.5s] I don't care.
[775.5s] Ooh, ooh, I can change my appearance.
[777.5s] Yeah, without becoming the thing, right?
[779.6s] So.
[780.2s] Without becoming the thing.
[781.6s] Yeah.
[782.9s] My basic shape can stay the same.
[786.0s] Oh, yeah.
[786.5s] And I can just change my appearance however I wish.
[790.1s] So I can look as dead as I want to.
[792.9s] Awesome.
[793.7s] So, yeah.
[795.8s] OK, so so far we've got a plan
[797.6s] of looking like the dead or undead.
[801.2s] Defeating the ferrymen of the dead
[803.9s] or persuading them, one or the other.
[806.8s] Probably better to try and persuade
[808.4s] before you try and defeat them.
[809.9s] Yeah.
[810.6s] Yeah.
[811.7s] A before B.
[814.3s] Except after C.
[815.5s] Yeah.
[816.6s] For Sharon.
[817.5s] So that would take you right to, in theory,
[820.1s] right to the fortress.
[822.0s] Cool.
[822.5s] How do we get to the River Styx?
[825.5s] Let's work in reverse a little, shall we?
[827.8s] So we figured out how to get to the fortress.
[831.5s] Well, first you start with too much time on your hands.
[835.5s] Too much.
[836.6s] Yeah.
[839.1s] Well, you've got to go into hell.
[840.8s] I do believe.
[841.6s] Right.
[842.1s] Is there like a big green tube somewhere
[846.5s] that we can Mario or something?
[847.5s] Like a Mario tube?
[848.5s] I'm into it.
[849.8s] I know the perfect Mario tube to hell.
[852.8s] Yeah.
[855.0s] Who would have information about the River Styx?
[858.5s] Anybody reasonably?
[860.5s] Vorunax, maybe, because you might have traversed it.
[863.8s] Yeah.
[864.3s] I mean, Thea may have read about it at the library.
[867.1s] Well, what about what's Grancis?
[869.8s] Grancis likely would.
[872.0s] OK, let's make a history roll.
[874.7s] Let's roll some dice here.
[875.9s] See what our character's got.
[877.4s] Let's see.
[878.0s] Thea knows shit.
[879.3s] She just rolled a one.
[882.1s] So happy birthday to me.
[885.0s] Grancis knows something.
[887.2s] So she got a 17.
[889.2s] Vorunax got an 18.
[890.9s] 15.
[892.7s] Four before bonus, so just fine.
[896.1s] Night Hunter got a 10.
[898.8s] OK.
[900.3s] So Thea and Night Hunter are going to be pretty useless.
[904.1s] Knowledge necessarily not complete,
[908.0s] but you know that touching or tasting the water
[913.1s] can shatter a creature's intellect and personality,
[916.6s] as well as potentially strip away its memories.
[919.6s] Well, we have all seen the scene with Dumbledore and Harry
[923.7s] Potter and him forcing the water into his mouth, man.
[926.3s] Like, you don't want to do it.
[928.6s] No.
[929.1s] Exactly.
[929.7s] Yeah.
[930.4s] The scene scarred me for life.
[932.2s] Oh, so if worse comes to worse,
[934.1s] we can just have the ferryman drink the water.
[938.1s] Perfect.
[938.6s] Dumbledore style.
[939.4s] Dumbledore style, yeah.
[940.6s] Force it.
[941.2s] Splash it on him or something.
[942.9s] Yeah.
[943.4s] OK, so we need to bring a bucket or a small cup of some kind.
[948.5s] Hey, put a bucket on your list.
[950.3s] Oh, I don't want to carry a bucket around with me.
[952.3s] Wait, it's a bucket list?
[957.3s] I bet James has one.
[958.5s] I mean, it makes sense.
[959.5s] We are going to the abyss to fight Orcus.
[961.7s] I bet James has one.
[963.3s] Yeah.
[963.8s] You know what?
[964.3s] I guarantee James has one.
[966.3s] Anything we don't want to carry, just say James has it,
[969.0s] and it'll be fine.
[970.3s] Who needs a bag of holding when you've got James?
[972.8s] That's right.
[973.3s] Well, I mean, when you've got rations and a mess kit,
[976.9s] I'm sure you've got a cup.
[978.3s] For sure.
[979.8s] Right?
[980.3s] A little mug with a handle, metal.
[982.1s] You know, it's probably carabiner to my pack.
[985.3s] There you go.
[985.8s] So River Styx poses some problems in and of itself.
[989.9s] But getting there, you are at the fortress,
[993.7s] which, as far as Vorunax would be concerned
[997.1s] or Lipsynche would be concerned, would be less
[999.2s] guarded than going to Thanatos.
[1002.7s] It's the plane where he primarily would exist otherwise.
[1006.9s] Hold on.
[1007.4s] Isn't the city in Thanatos?
[1010.3s] Yes.
[1011.4s] Yes?
[1012.0s] I thought so.
[1012.7s] It's a city.
[1013.5s] It's a stronghold within Thanatos.
[1016.4s] That's what I said.
[1018.0s] Which is, yeah, narrative, which is on Thanatos.
[1020.6s] Yeah.
[1021.1s] Yeah.
[1021.6s] You're right.
[1022.7s] Take that again.
[1024.0s] That's OK.
[1024.5s] Takes you straight to the city within.
[1026.9s] So it bypasses the hurdles of traversing the lair itself,
[1035.4s] but also puts them all right behind you.
[1038.9s] Something to consider.
[1040.2s] Not saying it's right or wrong.
[1057.8s] OK.
[1058.3s] Just knowing that if something goes sour,
[1062.0s] there's probably potentially a trigger
[1066.6s] that brings them all towards.
[1068.5s] I get the feeling that's kind of just going
[1070.1s] to be our whole experience in the abyss.
[1072.2s] Yeah, that's fair.
[1073.1s] To be honest with you.
[1074.1s] Can Grancis dimension Doris just to the front door?
[1081.1s] Hey, Grancis, can you dimension Doris just
[1083.7s] right to the front door?
[1084.8s] I mean, I could plan a shift,
[1086.5s] but I can only do that once.
[1090.1s] OK.
[1091.0s] And then we're there.
[1092.7s] One way ticket to hell.
[1096.3s] Or maybe we save that.
[1100.7s] Maybe it needs to be the end thing.
[1103.9s] Then you need to have a nap until you can do it again.
[1108.8s] Right.
[1109.8s] Sleep more than a nap.
[1112.6s] OK.
[1113.4s] So I think not getting split up is a good idea.
[1119.6s] That is a good idea.
[1120.7s] No running off, trying to be hero.
[1124.1s] Kathy is staring down Night Hunter and Glim.
[1127.9s] Glim's not there.
[1128.7s] Yeah, no Glim.
[1129.9s] No.
[1131.7s] So just staring down Night Hunter ourselves.
[1133.7s] Just in your mind, you're staring down Glim.
[1135.9s] That's right.
[1136.4s] We separated them because the tension was too much.
[1139.0s] Glim's like, ow, someone's thinking about me.
[1142.3s] Totally.
[1143.1s] No, I can only do that once I get my book,
[1145.2s] but we'll talk about that later.
[1148.2s] So we don't want to split the party.
[1150.7s] No.
[1152.3s] We need to stick together, and especially when
[1154.5s] we're within a mile of the throne room,
[1158.5s] that's when things start going a little sideways
[1161.6s] in the heads of most people.
[1162.9s] If you're not a follower or blessed or something,
[1166.1s] you wind up with some madness going
[1169.1s] on, which would be good for no one.
[1171.0s] That is good to know.
[1172.2s] Is there a way to not do that?
[1174.9s] Not go mad?
[1175.9s] Yeah.
[1177.4s] I do not know, to be honest.
[1180.3s] I never had to worry about it.
[1182.7s] Roll high?
[1183.8s] You want to get high before we go, Grancis?
[1186.4s] Yeah, baby.
[1187.5s] All right, you do that.
[1188.9s] Grancis, are you high right now?
[1190.3s] Take some edibles, and let's go.
[1192.1s] Take some edibles.
[1192.9s] We'll wait two hours, then we'll go.
[1195.0s] Yes.
[1195.5s] Yeah, exactly.
[1196.3s] No, you can let it hit you halfway into the journey.
[1198.8s] It's fine.
[1199.5s] Good idea, yeah.
[1200.9s] Everything's fine until it's not.
[1202.7s] Oh, shit, it's the wrong strain.
[1204.5s] If you wait, you won't go on the journey.
[1207.6s] You'll just stay home and eat chips.
[1209.2s] Sounds like a journey.
[1210.4s] I mean, it sounds like a life which-
[1211.4s] We all have our own personal journeys, don't we?
[1213.0s] Which circles back to Kyle's original idea,
[1214.9s] let's not go to the abyss.
[1216.6s] Oh, yeah.
[1218.4s] If we could just, I mean, I know
[1220.0s] they sent us all here to do this one particular task,
[1223.1s] which is super important.
[1224.3s] But if we could just like-
[1225.4s] But like chips?
[1227.6s] I mean, imagine how many chips
[1229.2s] that we could eat if we just let
[1230.4s] Orcus take over the world.
[1231.7s] It'd be fine.
[1232.8s] Would there be any chips?
[1234.0s] Eventually.
[1236.8s] See, you get on board with Orcus,
[1238.6s] then we can have the undead make chips
[1241.0s] and we'll be like, oh, yeah, here you go.
[1243.3s] It'd be good.
[1244.4s] Remember, Orcus is just gonna kill you.
[1248.1s] And then you won't care about chips or anything.
[1250.8s] Right.
[1251.7s] Yeah, that's okay.
[1253.5s] So we need to get to hell.
[1255.0s] I wonder if there's like someone maybe in town that-
[1258.6s] Is there some sort of phrase
[1260.5s] we can say three times while looking in a mirror?
[1263.2s] Ooh, yeah.
[1264.3s] Bloody Mary.
[1265.2s] So the river sticks courses through the lower plain,
[1267.8s] and so it goes through the abyss and Avernus.
[1270.0s] So entrances-
[1271.8s] Just have to get to Avernus.
[1273.3s] Entrances into Avernus,
[1275.0s] a well-known one in Baldur's Gate.
[1277.3s] I know that one well.
[1278.5s] Yeah.
[1279.3s] Knowledge about Avernus,
[1281.1s] and it's where Tiamat is.
[1283.3s] So that's fun.
[1284.6s] And we didn't destroy her.
[1286.1s] No, you sent her back to Avernus.
[1288.6s] Fuck.
[1289.6s] I don't want to go there, you guys.
[1292.1s] Listen.
[1293.8s] Tiamat and we have this like
[1297.4s] sort of a feud.
[1298.6s] It may not be a great idea for her to know.
[1300.6s] It's a bit of a thing.
[1302.3s] Just a little thanks.
[1302.9s] Killed my best friend.
[1304.0s] No big deal.
[1305.2s] But like wouldn't it be just the most awful thing ever
[1308.7s] if Tiamat got wind
[1312.2s] of what we were doing and joined forces with Orcus?
[1314.3s] Wouldn't that be just terrible?
[1315.5s] I don't think Amy understands how earmuffs work.
[1318.3s] No, I don't.
[1320.2s] Amy just tried to put her hands on my headphone ears
[1324.0s] in order to block sound coming to her.
[1325.6s] I could have smacked your headphones off your ears,
[1327.6s] but I thought that's pretty aggressive for someone
[1329.5s] who just made me muscle, so.
[1331.4s] It's my birthday.
[1332.6s] It's right.
[1333.4s] See what I want.
[1334.4s] Happy birthday.
[1336.0s] Thank you.
[1337.4s] Don't write that down.
[1338.9s] Don't write what down?
[1340.1s] Happy birthday?
[1340.8s] Anything about Tiamat.
[1341.7s] Don't write that down.
[1342.5s] Anything having to do with Tiamat being all like.
[1345.5s] That's a whole other page.
[1346.8s] It's not even, I'm not even there anymore.
[1348.7s] So you find a way to get to the River Styx.
[1352.6s] Are you trying to figure out how?
[1354.2s] I feel like wouldn't Vorunax seems to be able to leave,
[1359.7s] because he was just out on a field trip doing stuff
[1362.8s] with Frimsbane.
[1364.9s] Yeah, how would Vorunax come and go?
[1369.0s] To report back to his head honcho.
[1370.9s] Seeing if there was anything on the wand of Orcus,
[1374.8s] but I'm not seeing anything specific that's like, hey,
[1377.4s] go back to hell.
[1379.4s] Yeah, like if you slam it on the ground,
[1381.1s] does it immediately open like, I don't know,
[1383.0s] like a tube slide to hell?
[1385.2s] Because that'd be great if it did.
[1386.7s] Let me check, wonk.
[1390.0s] And he's gone.
[1390.8s] Oh, shit.
[1391.3s] Shit.
[1391.8s] Sorry, guys.
[1392.4s] That sucked.
[1393.4s] I'll see you in three to four weeks.
[1396.4s] To find a way.
[1397.2s] How long it takes to get there?
[1398.6s] And back.
[1399.5s] Yeah, it's the round trip that gets you.
[1402.2s] Getting back there is pretty quick.
[1403.6s] It's getting out.
[1404.4s] That's the.
[1405.1s] Yeah, a lot of connecting flights on your way out.
[1407.4s] Let's come up with something, because obviously Vorkus.
[1411.3s] Vorunax can come and go.
[1413.1s] That's a ship right there.
[1414.5s] Right?
[1415.5s] Vorunax can come and go.
[1417.2s] Do we imagine that to be some sort of teleportation,
[1420.4s] some sort of portal magic?
[1423.6s] We've been big on portal magic with the Abyss.
[1425.8s] I mean, probably portal magic.
[1427.6s] Yeah.
[1428.4s] It has kind of been the way.
[1430.1s] They're probably like hidden portals all over the place.
[1434.3s] You can go wherever you please.
[1436.3s] I'm going to argue with Vorunax here,
[1438.4s] using the one straight to the front door.
[1441.9s] Maybe not the greatest idea, because there'd
[1445.7s] be like an immediate alarm.
[1447.9s] Yeah, for sure.
[1449.2s] And we'd want to like acclimate.
[1450.7s] We don't want to get whatever the fanatose
[1455.2s] version of the bends are.
[1456.7s] We need to just like work our way into it a little bit.
[1460.6s] That's right.
[1461.2s] I mean, honestly, the bends are pretty terrible.
[1463.0s] It's probably kind of the same.
[1464.3s] Yeah.
[1464.9s] Hell bends.
[1465.9s] Yeah.
[1466.6s] Hell bends.
[1467.7s] If I have a ring that's like, OK, yeah, let me just go there.
[1473.1s] Perhaps we can reach out to some kind of magical person
[1476.0s] and be like, hey, can you change
[1477.4s] where this drops me off?
[1480.2s] Sure.
[1481.4s] We adjust this demonic magical item.
[1486.5s] Do we want to send Vorunax in as like?
[1490.4s] We could say I go ahead and, you know, clear a path.
[1494.1s] Breach the wheels, pave the way.
[1495.8s] Well, yeah.
[1496.4s] Or just like, you know, hang with Orcus or whatever.
[1499.9s] Knock out the security guards in the tower.
[1502.3s] And just kind of like, you know, I don't know.
[1507.1s] Go in, be cool guy on Orcus side.
[1510.5s] Hey, what are you guys doing here?
[1512.3s] Leave a window unlatched.
[1513.7s] Yeah.
[1514.5s] And then we show up.
[1515.4s] And then Orcus is like, who the fuck are these people?
[1517.7s] And you're like, I don't know.
[1518.9s] Except I do, motherfucker.
[1520.1s] And then like, oh, what?
[1522.5s] And then Orcus is like, I had no idea.
[1524.7s] And then we were like, that's right.
[1526.0s] He's been on our side the whole time.
[1528.1s] And then?
[1528.8s] And then Vorunax rips off his mask.
[1530.5s] And he's Ashton Kutcher.
[1531.5s] He's like, you got punks.
[1533.2s] Oh, shit.
[1534.5s] I did not see that one coming.
[1535.7s] I did not expect that.
[1537.6s] Where's my Von Dutch hat?
[1538.5s] Give it to me.
[1539.3s] So like something like that?
[1540.9s] I'm game to try to figure that out.
[1543.0s] OK.
[1543.5s] You know, pretty much like set the path for y'all.
[1545.5s] It's like, I'll go ahead, leave you some breadcrumbs.
[1548.3s] You get down there.
[1549.7s] We'll rendezvous.
[1551.8s] My only worry is, will he turn on us?
[1555.6s] What if he turns when he's out of our sight?
[1558.6s] I don't know.
[1559.2s] He got that magic memory horse.
[1562.6s] That's true.
[1563.4s] The magic memory horse.
[1564.9s] I mean, I'm assuming that's the title of the episode, Ross,
[1567.3s] is Magic Memory Horse.
[1568.4s] The magical memory horse is coming to take you away
[1571.4s] from here to the abyss.
[1573.4s] I mean, we send him back alone.
[1576.6s] And he gets the Orcus madness.
[1579.6s] Oh, but you know, carrying the wand of Orcus,
[1583.7s] I haven't experienced any issues with that.
[1587.3s] So there's probably some kind of exception
[1591.7s] provided to the upper echelon of servants.
[1595.9s] Right.
[1596.5s] He probably wants you in your right mind.
[1599.2s] How does Orcus get information?
[1604.9s] Is he psychic?
[1606.5s] Can you read minds?
[1608.9s] Well, sometimes the wand may communicate back to him.
[1616.7s] So what the fuck?
[1619.0s] You know, there is that.
[1620.8s] We could work on destroying it, too.
[1623.0s] So I'm probably already busted.
[1624.9s] Wait, wait, give me the wand.
[1628.4s] He puts it in a closet.
[1630.0s] I do not know this is good ideas.
[1632.5s] You put wand in closet.
[1634.9s] It is fine.
[1635.8s] It does no longer listen.
[1637.1s] No, it's sleeping now.
[1638.5s] Wrap it in cloak, something.
[1640.4s] OK.
[1641.1s] So this entire time we've been talking.
[1643.4s] Oh, shut up, baby.
[1644.6s] Don't say a word.
[1645.5s] Are you swaddling it?
[1647.1s] You told me to wrap it in a cloak.
[1648.4s] That's very weird.
[1650.0s] All this time we've been talking plan.
[1652.0s] How to defeat Orcus.
[1654.2s] This thing perhaps talks to Orcus back.
[1658.7s] And he knows whole plan now.
[1660.6s] You are no longer good pawn to use as surprise, good guy
[1666.2s] and bad guy.
[1667.4s] I mean, it at least talks to me.
[1672.0s] It communicates with me like, you know, in the mind, brain.
[1677.5s] It hasn't mentioned about getting back to Orcus
[1680.7s] or anything like that, but it definitely hears me.
[1685.9s] Well, so when we're a team in the future,
[1692.3s] Orcus isn't really a micromanager.
[1694.5s] Like we kind of just, you know.
[1696.7s] It's true.
[1697.4s] Trust us to do our own thing and get the tasks done
[1700.4s] in our own unique and special and evil
[1702.4s] and extra cool way.
[1704.0s] Sounds like a really good boss.
[1706.1s] Is, he is.
[1707.7s] Surprisingly, yes.
[1709.8s] But I mean, mostly just kind of like to the two of us
[1714.3s] and the rest of the world, pretty bad.
[1716.5s] How is health benefits?
[1719.5s] Elion would have liked that.
[1720.7s] That was a good one.
[1721.5s] I will write that down.
[1724.7s] But in this time, is he like right now,
[1729.0s] is he waiting for you to get back to him and say,
[1732.8s] Oh, yeah, you were just on a thing.
[1734.5s] Report on what happened.
[1736.0s] You were just on a kind of on a mission.
[1738.4s] Do you need to get back to him
[1740.0s] or are you going to just kind of roll up
[1742.1s] at your own time?
[1743.1s] Because that will sort of, you know,
[1745.9s] depend if you need to get back soon
[1748.7s] or he'll be suspicious.
[1750.6s] I mean, who better to bring back in my endeavor
[1754.6s] with God, he's already dead
[1758.5s] and I just can't even remember his name
[1760.0s] because he made no impression upon me.
[1762.7s] But Thelonious Primsbane.
[1766.4s] Yes, that's cocky motherfucker.
[1769.1s] That's it.
[1770.7s] Now, in my endeavor to figure out
[1773.1s] if he'd be a good servant for Orcus
[1775.1s] in our time of need,
[1776.6s] I capture the heroes that managed to stave off Tiamat.
[1782.5s] What an offering that would be
[1783.7s] to bring upon the Demon Lord
[1787.0s] as my prisoners.
[1788.6s] Oh, and then we are not prisoners
[1793.0s] and then we attack.
[1794.7s] Yes.
[1797.0s] No, yes, yes.
[1799.0s] Absolutely.
[1799.7s] That's right.
[1800.7s] Yes, you're not actually prisoners.
[1803.1s] Sorry.
[1803.8s] I'm working on it.
[1805.2s] I promise.
[1807.6s] Worried.
[1810.9s] It is so hard working with turncoats.
[1813.3s] It's a hard adjustment to make to,
[1815.3s] you know, you've been just Orcus, Orcus, Orcus
[1817.7s] for years and years
[1818.9s] and then all of a sudden it's like,
[1820.1s] ah, actually, maybe that guy kind of sucks
[1822.3s] and it's just hard, you know,
[1824.4s] when he gives you all your power
[1826.2s] and everything cool you can do is because of him.
[1829.0s] It is a bit hard.
[1831.0s] Lipsynche, I knew you before Orcus
[1833.4s] had his claws in you
[1834.5s] and you were amazing and awesome then.
[1837.6s] Orcus had his claws in her then too.
[1842.6s] At Blackpool?
[1845.6s] I mean, Grancis, we haven't really.
[1849.3s] Look, fair enough, sorry.
[1851.7s] Yeah, I mean, it's fine.
[1853.6s] I mean, Grancis and I also...
[1855.9s] That was yours to reveal, my bad.
[1857.6s] Wow, okay, what is going on?
[1860.1s] Spent a lot of time together.
[1862.9s] Well, so all those cool powers that I have.
[1868.0s] I mean, the claws, the sword or the shovel.
[1873.0s] The digging, yeah, the digging.
[1874.6s] I mean, Orcus is kind of like my fiend guy that...
[1883.1s] So I didn't know then.
[1886.1s] I didn't know in Blackpool.
[1889.1s] So, but then I got down there and then...
[1895.4s] So, technically...
[1898.6s] All right, well, now I'm confused.
[1900.0s] Now, when we saved you from Blackpool,
[1904.5s] wait a minute, Vorunax...
[1906.4s] Tried to.
[1907.6s] Tried to.
[1909.1s] Well, I mean, she could have still been in that cell
[1911.9s] with the, you know, dead stuff around.
[1913.3s] You definitely saved me from the jail.
[1915.5s] Yeah, not from other things,
[1917.6s] but like Vorunax, was it all just a ruse?
[1921.4s] Was it all, were you even in trouble?
[1926.4s] Oh, well, I don't even know.
[1928.4s] Funny, I don't think we've...
[1929.7s] All our conversations together, Vorunax,
[1931.3s] I don't think we ever even talked about this.
[1932.9s] Did you know?
[1934.2s] Because that was sort of a deal
[1935.5s] that I guess Orcus and I had made, but...
[1939.5s] Wait, you made a deal with Orcus
[1941.0s] and he still sent you down to live in the prison with him?
[1945.2s] Fiends are fun.
[1947.2s] I mean, to be fair, Lipsinki,
[1949.7s] I just met you,
[1951.1s] so I have no clue what you're talking about.
[1953.3s] Oh.
[1954.3s] Well, Blackpool hasn't even happened yet.
[1955.3s] Yeah.
[1956.3s] Right.
[1957.3s] That's right.
[1958.3s] I'm trying to get up and going.
[1959.3s] Time fuckery.
[1960.3s] Of course.
[1961.3s] It's hard.
[1962.3s] I mean, you do look a bit younger,
[1963.3s] but you're eternally youthful,
[1965.3s] so it's a little bit hard to tell.
[1968.3s] Thank you.
[1969.3s] When did Lipsinki get captured?
[1973.7s] Pretty quick?
[1975.5s] Soon?
[1977.3s] How far along is Blackpool?
[1980.0s] Do you have it on your to-do list?
[1982.0s] Oh, I mean, it's one of the next things.
[1984.0s] I was going to have Prim's Bane go
[1986.0s] and draw some attention away,
[1988.0s] and that was my first target
[1990.0s] to get things started up,
[1991.0s] to start kind of a home base of my old home.
[1996.0s] Hey, if you're not inherently evil
[1999.0s] and we do a better job of saving you,
[2001.0s] we could have two yous.
[2004.0s] Two Lipsinkis?
[2005.0s] Yeah.
[2006.0s] Would that fuck things up?
[2007.0s] Would your mind explode?
[2008.0s] Is someone going to die?
[2009.0s] How does time work?
[2011.0s] No, time travel.
[2012.0s] I know how time itself works.
[2014.0s] Thank you.
[2015.0s] She looks over at Nighthunter
[2017.0s] who's pointing up at the sun
[2020.0s] and is showing the sun goes down.
[2023.0s] Yeah, I know how time works.
[2026.0s] But would that be like,
[2028.0s] do you think if you met you
[2031.0s] I mean, I didn't know.
[2033.0s] 10 years ago.
[2035.0s] In Blackpool,
[2037.0s] I didn't know.
[2040.0s] I hadn't like,
[2041.0s] we didn't meet at a crossroads
[2043.0s] and I signed away my soul or anything.
[2045.0s] Just, I mean,
[2048.0s] does the world explode
[2049.0s] if I see another version of myself?
[2053.0s] It's a great question.
[2055.0s] I'm not.
[2056.0s] Maybe that's in Brancis' book.
[2058.0s] Maybe there's something about that.
[2060.0s] Like if you see yourself from another time.
[2064.0s] Because I mean, in that respect,
[2067.0s] we could have another one of me,
[2071.0s] another one of Flint.
[2074.0s] We could have,
[2076.0s] who else was on that journey with us?
[2078.0s] Oh.
[2080.0s] Well, isn't that where you met,
[2082.0s] I mean, he didn't have a name then
[2084.0s] when we were in adjoining cells,
[2086.0s] the prison, but the big guy made of the
[2088.0s] Oh, yeah.
[2090.0s] What was his name?
[2093.0s] Beefy Boy.
[2094.0s] Beefy Boy.
[2095.0s] That's right.
[2096.0s] Well, I think that's just what we called him at the time.
[2100.0s] That's a fun nickname.
[2102.0s] It's a good one.
[2103.0s] Lex, I think, is the name.
[2105.0s] Right. Yes.
[2106.0s] Yes.
[2107.0s] Lex is, yeah, where he ended up.
[2109.0s] I kind of like the other one better.
[2110.0s] Well, I mean, that's a beefy boy.
[2113.0s] But would that be, you know,
[2116.0s] like, I mean,
[2118.0s] the whole world hangs in the bAlydince
[2121.0s] if we're able to get duplicates of ourselves
[2128.0s] to Russ put us in this fucking situation.
[2130.0s] And he's not here.
[2131.0s] And I feel like now this is what we're doing, Russ.
[2133.0s] Now this is what we're doing.
[2134.0s] You think you can go pee in the middle of our planning session?
[2136.0s] Well, you can't.
[2137.0s] No, you cannot.
[2138.0s] Because now this is what we've decided.
[2140.0s] Here's the plan.
[2141.0s] You shouldn't have left us alone.
[2142.0s] No, you shouldn't have.
[2143.0s] OK, we are going to go to Blackpool.
[2146.0s] We are going to get ourselves.
[2152.0s] And we are going to...
[2155.0s] Because then we'll have another...
[2156.0s] This is awful.
[2157.0s] I told you you shouldn't have left us alone.
[2158.0s] Slip, sink, and Lex.
[2160.0s] Yes.
[2161.0s] I mean, lower level versions of all of them.
[2163.0s] Yeah.
[2164.0s] We're going to get ourselves.
[2165.0s] And we are going to infiltrate the abyss,
[2170.0s] like, with multiples of ourselves.
[2172.0s] Think of the fuckery we could do.
[2173.0s] And a portal opens there.
[2175.0s] Because that's how lip-syncing gets there.
[2177.0s] Yes.
[2178.0s] There is something kind of already that's perfect.
[2180.0s] That's why I'm choosing it.
[2181.0s] There's something that's, like, perfect for that event.
[2183.0s] And not a lot of the townsfolk know about it,
[2186.0s] but it was built on top of, you know, time,
[2189.0s] ages, things.
[2190.0s] We totally accidentally let lip-syncing get sucked
[2194.0s] through a portal in Blackpool.
[2197.0s] So we could get sucked through that portal.
[2202.0s] Hey, just to bring it up,
[2204.0s] there's a real...
[2208.0s] A person that I don't care to work with,
[2212.0s] but maybe.
[2213.0s] I don't know if Shangalar would turn out.
[2217.0s] Oh, fuck that guy.
[2219.0s] But if not, we still need to consider that
[2221.0s] that dude could show up like that.
[2224.0s] You don't...
[2225.0s] That guy.
[2226.0s] You don't know this yet, but that guy?
[2229.0s] You know how you probably already suspect
[2232.0s] he's a bit of a dick?
[2233.0s] No, it's total.
[2235.0s] He definitely is.
[2236.0s] He, like, tries to go rogue.
[2238.0s] He says there's this whole pyramid thing.
[2240.0s] It's...
[2241.0s] I mean...
[2242.0s] He trapped us for ten years in a pyramid.
[2244.0s] We missed your whole ascension to power.
[2247.0s] The whole thing.
[2248.0s] That's kind of funny.
[2249.0s] I mean, it was actually...
[2250.0s] Okay, I know I said he was a dick,
[2251.0s] but that part was actually pretty funny
[2253.0s] because we were in there,
[2255.0s] and then he...
[2257.0s] You and I kind of just dip in at the end
[2259.0s] and whatever,
[2260.0s] and we've basically destroyed everything
[2263.0s] they know and love.
[2264.0s] That sounds great.
[2265.0s] And they don't even know about it.
[2267.0s] It's real hilarious, guys.
[2268.0s] And then...
[2269.0s] I mean...
[2270.0s] Oh, yeah, sounds like good time.
[2272.0s] I'm sorry.
[2273.0s] Like I said, it's really hard sometimes to...
[2275.0s] That is okay.
[2276.0s] Take all that anger and wanting to destroy
[2280.0s] and just destroy the hardest thing to destroy.
[2284.0s] Orcas, I assume.
[2287.0s] But not as hard as me.
[2289.0s] What?
[2290.0s] Nothing, nothing, nothing.
[2291.0s] I didn't...
[2292.0s] No.
[2293.0s] There's no love for orcas here.
[2295.0s] Not anymore.
[2303.0s] Hello.
[2304.0s] Hello.
[2305.0s] Hello.
[2306.0s] Hello.
[2307.0s] Well, a few of us would do that.
[2311.0s] I mean, there was a note there.
[2313.0s] Hello.
[2314.0s] Yep.
[2315.0s] Hey, everybody.
[2316.0s] Welcome to the middle.
[2317.0s] We're here now,
[2318.0s] and we're talking about how we have an amazing community
[2321.0s] and we want you to be a part of it.
[2322.0s] We hit 100 patrons.
[2323.0s] Ring the bell.
[2324.0s] Oh, yes.
[2325.0s] I don't have a ding-a-ling-a-ling.
[2327.0s] I still can't believe it.
[2328.0s] I know.
[2329.0s] It's insane.
[2330.0s] Russ has really been working overtime
[2331.0s] on all his fake people.
[2333.0s] Especially since we've met so many of them
[2336.0s] in various ways.
[2337.0s] Like, wow, Russ, it's amazing.
[2339.0s] After a point, you have to realize
[2340.0s] it's not just me with several different masks on
[2342.0s] in different Zoom windows.
[2343.0s] I mean, that Mission Impossible mask tech
[2346.0s] is pretty incredible.
[2348.0s] I think I would have noticed before now.
[2351.0s] He's that good.
[2352.0s] I'm that good.
[2353.0s] What are we doing at 100 patrons?
[2356.0s] We are having a live show.
[2358.0s] Hell, yeah.
[2359.0s] So you motherfuckers better be there.
[2361.0s] That's the energy Russ told me to bring to this.
[2363.0s] That's where Russ told us to approach it.
[2365.0s] Before I started the barber shop quartet.
[2368.0s] It really swung like a complete 180.
[2371.0s] It did, but I felt like someone said motherfuckers,
[2373.0s] and it needs to be said again.
[2375.0s] And by that I mean you lovely motherfuckers.
[2377.0s] So with that, the date is not quite set
[2381.0s] as we record this or release this.
[2383.0s] It will be set by the end of day on June 30th.
[2385.0s] But it's looking like a date later in July.
[2389.0s] And we hope that you can come join us
[2391.0s] because guess what?
[2392.0s] If it's one of those dates later in July,
[2395.0s] we have several people on the hook
[2397.0s] to come join us.
[2398.0s] Yeah, we do.
[2399.0s] What?
[2400.0s] A regular cast member, Kyle Klassen.
[2403.0s] Regular cast member, Kristen Flemmons.
[2405.0s] Of course, yeah.
[2406.0s] And not regular cast member,
[2408.0s] but we wish she was, Cicero Holmes.
[2411.0s] Yes.
[2412.0s] And we're very excited to hopefully welcome
[2414.0s] all of those people back to the table
[2418.0s] when we play the Improv Live show
[2420.0s] that we want you to be at,
[2421.0s] Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[2422.0s] We've got a new goal up there,
[2423.0s] which we're just ironing out as we speak.
[2425.0s] We're heading into a very important business meeting,
[2428.0s] and it'll be up on Patreon
[2430.0s] hopefully by the time you hear this.
[2431.0s] Soon after.
[2432.0s] Soon after, regardless.
[2433.0s] There's another goal coming.
[2434.0s] Don't hold us to that.
[2435.0s] It'll be up at some point.
[2436.0s] And it's going to be great.
[2437.0s] But right now, live show.
[2438.0s] So sign up so you can be there
[2440.0s] and give us suggestions
[2441.0s] and help us make fools of ourselves.
[2443.0s] And just have some laughs with us.
[2445.0s] And see our dumb faces.
[2447.0s] And the faces of our wonderfully not dumb guests.
[2450.0s] That's right.
[2451.0s] And my crying dog.
[2453.0s] Because we love to hang out with you
[2454.0s] and we can do that
[2455.0s] at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[2457.0s] Okay, bye now.
[2458.0s] Okay, bye.
[2459.0s] Love you, motherfuckers.
[2462.0s] You make it really hard to trust you.
[2467.0s] I'm sorry.
[2468.0s] It's still fresh.
[2470.0s] No, we get it.
[2471.0s] It's still new.
[2472.0s] Oh, yeah.
[2473.0s] We threw this on you like 45 minutes ago.
[2475.0s] Yeah.
[2476.0s] Yeah.
[2477.0s] Four days ago.
[2478.0s] Forty, four days and 45 minutes ago.
[2484.0s] Sometime where it's still fresh.
[2488.0s] Yeah.
[2489.0s] I get it.
[2490.0s] Fuck you, Russ.
[2491.0s] So that's our plan now.
[2493.0s] So feel free to just completely.
[2496.0s] No, it's happening.
[2498.0s] He did multiple timelines to us.
[2500.0s] Well, obviously the counter move to this
[2503.0s] is to go find our alter time selves
[2506.0s] and develop an awesome team of ourselves.
[2510.0s] I will just point out.
[2511.0s] To defeat the bad person.
[2512.0s] That we're saying, in hindsight,
[2514.0s] we're acting like this is something we're doing to Russ.
[2517.0s] But really it's something we're doing to ourselves.
[2519.0s] Because then we're all going to be playing multiple characters
[2522.0s] and multiple versions of those characters.
[2524.0s] There's only one way that this podcast can end.
[2527.0s] There's only one night hunter though, so that's good.
[2529.0s] That's true.
[2530.0s] So with each of your own characters killing each other?
[2533.0s] No.
[2534.0s] Guys, I knew we shouldn't have planned anything.
[2535.0s] I know.
[2536.0s] See?
[2537.0s] This is why we don't do this.
[2538.0s] We make it so much more complicated.
[2540.0s] Well, and I just think that it just fits with everything.
[2545.0s] The whole thematic thing that we're going with,
[2549.0s] which is why not make it as convoluted and weird as possible?
[2556.0s] That's a theme?
[2558.0s] It is now.
[2559.0s] Well, ask anybody who listens to this podcast.
[2563.0s] If you want to follow through with things,
[2565.0s] Vorunax could go forth and grease the wheels a little bit
[2570.0s] while you get your identibuddies all lined up and on board.
[2576.0s] Or he can roll with you either way.
[2578.0s] Depends on where we want to land that plan.
[2580.0s] So if Blackpool isn't set up yet, Vorunax has to go set it up.
[2587.0s] That's true.
[2588.0s] Which means he has to enact a large portion of his and his boss's plan.
[2599.0s] Right.
[2600.0s] Which is to turn the whole city undead.
[2603.0s] Which also will make Orcus stronger.
[2606.0s] The city's kind of already undead.
[2610.0s] Which, yeah, he has to make the portal work.
[2612.0s] I'm just saying these things out loud.
[2614.0s] These are all information that we know.
[2616.0s] It has to make the portal work,
[2618.0s] which is a pivotal point in making all of the portals work.
[2623.0s] That kind of cascade out that bring about Orcus's rise.
[2629.0s] Okay, hold on.
[2630.0s] Not saying it's a bad idea.
[2631.0s] I am down for it if that's the way you want to go.
[2634.0s] Hold on. No, I still want to go in this direction.
[2636.0s] But perhaps instead of him going ahead and setting it up,
[2642.0s] we find another way to get there.
[2644.0s] But we still intercept our people.
[2650.0s] You really are hard-driven to get two of yourselves playing
[2655.0s] the same characters in every scene from now until the end of the podcast.
[2660.0s] You're going to have to double-track everything you record.
[2662.0s] You know that.
[2663.0s] I'll just make a copy of my character and name it Thea 1 and Thea 2.
[2668.0s] No one will know.
[2669.0s] Then they'll argue between each other.
[2671.0s] Why am I 2 and why are you 1?
[2673.0s] Probably.
[2674.0s] There will be a slap fight at one point.
[2676.0s] From a strictly above board production side of this,
[2680.0s] I see a huge problem with that.
[2682.0s] Yeah.
[2683.0s] But what?
[2684.0s] Oh, Russ.
[2685.0s] There's so many red flags with this play.
[2686.0s] I know.
[2687.0s] I don't like it.
[2689.0s] Okay, then we're definitely going ahead with this, you guys.
[2692.0s] Get on board.
[2693.0s] Russ doesn't like it.
[2694.0s] No, I'm just kidding.
[2696.0s] I like the Blackpool plan.
[2698.0s] The finding yourselves plan is going to be a difficult one to play out.
[2705.0s] Like hardcore.
[2706.0s] Yeah.
[2707.0s] In an auditory.
[2708.0s] What about finding just another Grancis once we get down to the abyss?
[2713.0s] Isn't he down there?
[2714.0s] He is down there.
[2715.0s] He is.
[2716.0s] No, he is.
[2717.0s] He's down there.
[2718.0s] Oh, he's not.
[2719.0s] He's not.
[2720.0s] Yep, he is.
[2721.0s] As soon as we do the ghost scene.
[2724.0s] I hate time because Grancis died long before Tiamat and then was wandering around
[2732.0s] the ghostly plane pissing off ghosts for a while and then got sucked in by Tom's Orcus
[2739.0s] ghost character who, after that, pulled him into the abyss basically.
[2746.0s] Right.
[2747.0s] What if, okay, adjacent plan.
[2752.0s] If Varnlox now knows that this first portal is like the beginning of the portals that
[2761.0s] we do want to stop Orcus and I guess destroy Orcus, but we also could work on stopping
[2769.0s] the plan, not just the man.
[2772.0s] Yes.
[2773.0s] Or not just the eternally naked being.
[2776.0s] If you want to interact with yourselves in this plane, might I posit an alternate
[2783.0s] view where the goal is to not bring them along with you buddy cop style, but to set
[2789.0s] a course for them to alter their progression through the timeline.
[2795.0s] You leave that lip-synchy bitch inside of her.
[2798.0s] Banana peel in front of Vorunax and like.
[2801.0s] Exactly.
[2802.0s] Because for them, the key turning point where shit goes sideways, jump 10 years
[2809.0s] in the future is going to.
[2813.0s] Callum Port.
[2814.0s] Sham Gam Alums.
[2815.0s] Yeah.
[2816.0s] If we already have this timelines Vorunax on our side and are not going to Blackpool,
[2823.0s] then they're already on a different course, right?
[2827.0s] Because they won't find.
[2828.0s] While they stumble across Blackpool.
[2830.0s] Yeah.
[2831.0s] But if there's no portal there that's been set up, then ultimately like their
[2835.0s] course going forward is already drastically changed.
[2838.0s] Yep.
[2839.0s] Unless we set the portal up to give them motivation to take out the other portals.
[2845.0s] So I still get to set a portal up.
[2847.0s] So the reason you go to Blackpool, if I remember correctly, is because trade had
[2853.0s] stopped.
[2855.0s] No.
[2856.0s] There was some like it wasn't like, Hey, it's a city of the undead because
[2859.0s] we didn't find out.
[2860.0s] You stumbled into it because you guys were coming back from.
[2862.0s] I feel like you guys were just on the way from taking Nulara's body home.
[2865.0s] Yeah.
[2866.0s] Back to Waterdeep.
[2867.0s] Yeah.
[2868.0s] Stumbled in, were brought in and then kind of found some weird shit
[2871.0s] happening and then took that information back to Waterdeep.
[2875.0s] Yeah.
[2876.0s] That's what happened.
[2877.0s] OK, so.
[2878.0s] Yeah.
[2879.0s] The trade thing was Mooklem and Sully coming from.
[2881.0s] I could even pose as the villain and they, oh no, you beat me.
[2885.0s] I retreat.
[2886.0s] And I don't don't even bother going to those other portals that I've set
[2891.0s] up.
[2894.0s] Well, they might just want to kill you.
[2896.0s] Really selling it.
[2898.0s] Oh, no, I would escape.
[2900.0s] It's easy.
[2902.0s] I obviously did it before.
[2904.0s] Yeah.
[2905.0s] I exist in the future.
[2907.0s] So.
[2908.0s] Well, not not anymore.
[2910.0s] Well, yeah.
[2912.0s] You're not helping me want to stay on your side by saying stuff like that,
[2915.0s] though.
[2916.0s] Well, no, no, you want you to stay on our side.
[2919.0s] Yeah.
[2920.0s] But I could.
[2921.0s] You've already died for the cause.
[2923.0s] Just one more portal.
[2924.0s] Yes.
[2925.0s] Yeah.
[2926.0s] But don't you got to kill a bunch of people to make that portal?
[2929.0s] Like, I don't know if I can.
[2932.0s] Guys, I don't know if I can sign off on that.
[2935.0s] More people are going to die if I don't make that portal.
[2938.0s] Yeah, I know.
[2940.0s] And we, you know, I know it's like there's a cart barreling down a road
[2945.0s] and it splits off.
[2947.0s] One people.
[2948.0s] Right answer.
[2950.0s] Anybody like I feel like I'm making this choice for us and I shouldn't be
[2955.0s] Flint.
[2956.0s] Any thoughts?
[2957.0s] I mean, I don't love setting a portal up.
[2960.0s] Have you ever tried it?
[2961.0s] Rather, that just didn't didn't happen at all.
[2964.0s] Maybe you just haven't done it.
[2966.0s] Maybe it hasn't been the right portal for you.
[2968.0s] I mean, it's entirely possible.
[2970.0s] But yeah, it doesn't really sound like a great plan.
[2973.0s] All right.
[2974.0s] So to recap, we've got the river sticks where if you touch the water,
[2979.0s] you might get stupid.
[2981.0s] We've got Vorunax's Ringy Portal,
[2984.0s] but we got to find somebody to, you know,
[2987.0s] switch my dip shit and take a left at Albuquerque.
[2991.0s] And away you go.
[2993.0s] We've got continue Orcas's plan.
[2998.0s] Yeah.
[2999.0s] And go to the portal at Blackpool.
[3002.0s] I mean, no.
[3004.0s] Yeah, no.
[3005.0s] Right.
[3006.0s] I mean, when you put it that way.
[3007.0s] I guess when you when you say it like that,
[3011.0s] Grancis, it does seem like that's kind of probably not exactly
[3016.0s] take a step back to take three forward.
[3018.0s] That's how I'm looking at it.
[3019.0s] You know, so I don't know what do we like GPS on the ring or what do we
[3023.0s] Well, Grancis, if we get your book back,
[3026.0s] is this something that you could finagle?
[3029.0s] Oh, well, I could take a look at it.
[3031.0s] I'm not really an artificer, so to speak,
[3033.0s] but I could I could cross some wires.
[3037.0s] No.
[3038.0s] Or we could find somebody who knows.
[3041.0s] You guys have an artificer friend somewhere, don't you?
[3044.0s] No.
[3045.0s] That's Mooklim and Sully.
[3047.0s] No.
[3048.0s] We've met so many people.
[3050.0s] It's hard to keep track of them all.
[3051.0s] Or.
[3053.0s] Or.
[3054.0s] Not whore.
[3056.0s] I said or.
[3057.0s] Or.
[3058.0s] I have a whore before everything.
[3060.0s] He's got so many gadgets.
[3063.0s] He's got so many.
[3064.0s] Yeah.
[3065.0s] Or.
[3066.0s] Or.
[3067.0s] Or lax.
[3068.0s] No.
[3069.0s] Or.
[3070.0s] Ozark.
[3071.0s] The Bizard.
[3072.0s] Yeah.
[3073.0s] The Guild of Nine Shadows, which we blew up at the end of Rise of Tiamat.
[3076.0s] Yeah.
[3077.0s] I wonder where he's at now.
[3080.0s] Oh, no.
[3082.0s] Let's go further back in time.
[3086.0s] I don't know if we do know an artificer.
[3088.0s] I feel like the only artificer I've played with has been Gabe in a game time.
[3092.0s] I'm sure we could pay an artificer.
[3094.0s] Yeah.
[3095.0s] I'm sure there just is, like, they're around, right?
[3097.0s] I could threaten an artificer.
[3098.0s] There is an artificer.
[3099.0s] It is a job, yes?
[3101.0s] This is before, that world hasn't ended.
[3103.0s] There still is, like, commerce.
[3105.0s] We just gotta find a cool one that understands, like, hey, you're changing where in hell we show up.
[3110.0s] It already takes me to hell, so you don't have to feel like a problem with it.
[3116.0s] It's not conflicting.
[3117.0s] You're just changing where I'm going.
[3118.0s] There's not too much to do.
[3120.0s] Yeah, and if you don't, I'll kill you.
[3122.0s] Oh, no, no, no.
[3123.0s] I mean, no.
[3124.0s] Sorry.
[3125.0s] I won't.
[3126.0s] Yeah.
[3127.0s] I don't do that anymore.
[3128.0s] Yeah.
[3129.0s] Unless I need to.
[3130.0s] We're coming up on, uh...
[3133.0s] Oh, God.
[3134.0s] Coming up on about a 50-minute mark here.
[3138.0s] I think if we can change where the ring takes us, try to get us as close to
[3142.0s] River Styx and go from there.
[3144.0s] I probably shouldn't fuck around with potentially just continuing Orcus's plan
[3148.0s] and setting off a chain of events that's going to allow him to gain power
[3152.0s] just as quickly as he has before.
[3154.0s] So, like, maybe this will be a bit of an interruption.
[3157.0s] Maybe you go down there and, like, go ahead a little bit, being all, like,
[3163.0s] it's a problem at Blackpool, yada, yada.
[3168.0s] I mean, lying to Orcus is difficult, but at the same time, I can always say,
[3174.0s] well, Primsbane proved complicated and slowed down my process.
[3180.0s] I'm seeking out other alternatives.
[3182.0s] Unfortunately, Blackpool is being pushed back a couple of weeks,
[3185.0s] but give me some time, and I'm sure I'll be able to make the next deadline.
[3190.0s] Just prove that it's still on the roadmap, and everything will be good.
[3195.0s] Yeah, yeah, we've had to put it on the back burner for now.
[3199.0s] Yeah.
[3200.0s] Okay, all right, so find an artificer.
[3202.0s] Get the ring fixed.
[3204.0s] Get some disguise kits so we can look and smell like the undead.
[3208.0s] Yes.
[3209.0s] Stinky disguise kits, got it.
[3212.0s] Teleport us down to...
[3215.0s] River Styx.
[3216.0s] River Styx.
[3218.0s] A location there on...
[3220.0s] Vorunax goes ahead.
[3222.0s] Does Vorunax go ahead?
[3223.0s] Well, do you?
[3224.0s] Maybe, yeah.
[3225.0s] Well, because I mean, like, once you're down there,
[3228.0s] is it not all just available to you because you live there?
[3231.0s] Did we like the prisoner routine?
[3234.0s] I've been a prisoner down there before.
[3236.0s] Could do the prisoner routine.
[3238.0s] Well, you're a prisoner down there currently, though, Grancis.
[3240.0s] That could be a problem.
[3241.0s] I have broken out one, right, right.
[3244.0s] Yeah.
[3245.0s] I am a prisoner down there right now.
[3246.0s] Okay, so you need a disguise.
[3248.0s] The rest of us do not.
[3249.0s] Okay, so, but wait, when I was a prisoner down there,
[3252.0s] you put me in this room where there were like 18 others of me,
[3255.0s] so really that doesn't seem like a weird thing.
[3257.0s] I don't think one of you would just be wandering around
[3260.0s] with them knowing just what kind of person you are.
[3266.0s] Yeah, yeah, that's fair.
[3268.0s] Yeah.
[3269.0s] So maybe we have a disguise for you.
[3271.0s] Sure.
[3272.0s] And...
[3273.0s] So I think, you know, we figured out how we're going to get there,
[3276.0s] and probably we don't need to plan at all what's going to happen once we're there.
[3280.0s] We've done it.
[3281.0s] We've made a plan, you guys.
[3282.0s] Well, yeah, okay.
[3285.0s] Well, I do just a little bit am wondering about maybe the specific kinds of fiends
[3292.0s] or yuck stuff we are going to be.
[3296.0s] All of them.
[3297.0s] Yes, I just wonder, what can I hit with my ex while I am down there?
[3301.0s] Is there anything special that I can prepare for?
[3305.0s] Tons.
[3306.0s] What lives under the ice in the moat?
[3308.0s] Lives under the ice?
[3309.0s] I could hear it.
[3310.0s] Yeah.
[3311.0s] I could hear it down in the prison.
[3313.0s] How familiar are you with aberrations?
[3317.0s] Specifically, undead ones?
[3319.0s] Well, I've seen a couple.
[3322.0s] Imagine a multi-eyed, multi-tentacled monster that can speak inside your head
[3326.0s] but is undead, so all it does is go brrrrrr,
[3329.0s] but still maintains the power it had beforehand?
[3332.0s] You know what an appleeth is?
[3335.0s] Oh, yeah, yeah, you...
[3337.0s] I heard that you told me that story that you folks fought the appleeth, right?
[3341.0s] In the pyramid.
[3343.0s] Oh, yeah.
[3345.0s] ShangAlydinga Ding Dong had one in like a little pool spot.
[3348.0s] Yeah.
[3349.0s] ShangAlydinga Ding Dong, that's good.
[3351.0s] Yeah, it wasn't fun to fight.
[3353.0s] This one's undead.
[3354.0s] So even better.
[3356.0s] Yeah.
[3357.0s] So there's an aberrant appleeth underneath the ice.
[3361.0s] There's the prison.
[3362.0s] You go in and you take the stairwell down
[3365.0s] and there's the prison area.
[3367.0s] Lipsinki, you're familiar?
[3369.0s] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[3371.0s] All sorts of specialized hells for each individual.
[3375.0s] Could they somehow open?
[3377.0s] There's the limb chute off the prison.
[3379.0s] Have distraction, open prison doors, cause riot.
[3383.0s] Oh, yeah, who else do they have hidden down there?
[3385.0s] Good guys, bad guys, everything in between?
[3388.0s] Well, funny thing, the hero,
[3393.0s] the skull of the hero that's on the wand of Orcus,
[3397.0s] they're somewhere in there.
[3399.0s] It's a very labyrinthine kind of thing.
[3401.0s] But if we do want to destroy that item,
[3405.0s] they'll be necessary to release.
[3408.0s] Without their skull?
[3410.0s] Something like that, yes.
[3412.0s] Oh, that seems right.
[3414.0s] We've got a skull-less fella who can destroy the wand.
[3418.0s] But we'll have to bring him like back to life.
[3421.0s] And can you do this?
[3422.0s] Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.
[3424.0s] I'm good at the opposite of that.
[3426.0s] How long has he been dead?
[3428.0s] Wait, is there something in your book
[3430.0s] that might answer some of these questions, Grancis?
[3433.0s] Oh, yeah, books full of all this great stuff.
[3436.0s] Where is your book, Grancis?
[3439.0s] Oh, well, if you look at the map here,
[3442.0s] it's got this little pinging beacon.
[3444.0s] Looks like it's at the Museum of Greenest.
[3446.0s] I think we're going to have to go get his book.
[3448.0s] Let's do it.
[3452.0s] Dumbgeons and Dragons, Season 2, Episode 127,
[3456.0s] starring Amy More as Thea and Night Hunter,
[3459.0s] Carla Maxted as Lipsynke, Tom Laird as Flint,
[3462.0s] with Kyle Claset as Vorunax,
[3464.0s] and Russ More as your dungeon master.
[3466.0s] Production and sound design by Russ More.
[3468.0s] This episode featured music from Epidemic Sound
[3471.0s] and Kavin McLeod of incompetech.filmmusic.io
[3474.0s] and sound effects from Epidemic Sound,
[3476.0s] Boom Library, and Sound Ideas.
[3478.0s] A huge thank you to our supporting producers,
[3481.0s] Kat Waterflame, Jacob Madden, Christian Brown,
[3484.0s] Devin Michaels, Craig Zeiss, Aaron Stevens,
[3487.0s] Darylith, L.A. Branton, Perry Matey,
[3489.0s] Nathaniel Teeter, and Nicholas Cooper.
[3491.0s] Join us today at Patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast,
[3494.0s] where we've reached 100 patrons
[3496.0s] and will be hosting a live improv night
[3498.0s] exclusive for all of our patrons coming up in July.
[3501.0s] Details will be available soon on Patreon and in our Discord.
[3504.0s] Plus, we've just announced some new community goals
[3506.0s] and some amazing new bonus content coming along with them,
[3509.0s] including in-character positive affirmations
[3512.0s] and the return of monthly one-shot episodes
[3514.0s] where we're excited to try out new characters,
[3516.0s] new games, and play a whole smattering of different great things
[3519.0s] that we hope you're gonna love.
[3520.0s] Thank you for listening.
[3521.0s] Have a great week.
[3522.0s] We'll talk again soon.
[3524.0s] Oh, okay.
[3525.0s] So even better.
[3527.0s] Oh, Loki-ish.
[3533.0s] He just wants everyone to know that he's very sad.
[3535.0s] He's sleeping.
[3536.0s] Sounds very sad.
[3537.0s] He's sleeping.
[3538.0s] Eyes closed.
[3539.0s] He's crying in his sleep.
[3540.0s] Wonderful.
[3541.0s] Aw, perfect.
[3542.0s] You know, sometimes you just have to cry yourself to sleep.
[3545.0s] Dreaming about all the kennels he can't ruin.
[3548.0s] That's right.
[3549.0s] Right.
[3550.0s] And carabiners, carabiners chasing him.
[3552.0s] Dumbgeons & Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.